


Oblivion

by amarvelbitch9



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Abuse, No Dialogue, Suicidal Thoughts, This is my first fic and it's an angst-fest, Unhappy Ending, like one line though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 10:24:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11872383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amarvelbitch9/pseuds/amarvelbitch9
Summary: Tony sits on the edge of a cliff and contemplates life.





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fic and is probably not a good precursor of what's to come because I was feeling crappy but, we shall see!  
> This fic is basically Tony contemplating suicide so if you think this will trigger you please do no read it. It is not particularly explicit but just be wary of your triggers and if you need to talk to someone afterwards then you can always talk to me.

Oblivion. A small, unassuming word in and of itself. In an odd way it was comforting. Such a small word that meant being unaware of one's surroundings, not really giving a shit if you know either way. What’s the point of knowing anyway? Life is bullshit and doesn’t really matter either way if one measly person is aware or not.

These are the thoughts running through Tony Stark’s mind as he silently sat on a cliff looking over a dense forest. Clouds littered the sky and the pink and orange hues of the sunset made everything all the more beautiful. Tony sat there for a long time, his legs dangling over the edge, the Iron Man armour left at a safe distance where he could still easily reach it but didn't want to. Because the fucking suit was the reason his life went to shit wasn't it.

Even all those years in Afghanistan. Yinsen was the person who should have been wearing the stupid suit because he was the stupid man who was better than Tony. But he died.

Then Obadiah took the arc reactor out of Tony's own chest after paralysing him. One of the few people who he thought were on his side, who he thought of as a father figure, only considered him to be a 'golden goose.' And then he died.

Then Happy was dragged into Tony's mess after only trying to look out for him. And he almost died.

Then Pepper had been submitted to torture to get to Tony (and boy hadn't that worked like a charm). Just when he thought everything would be okay, she almost died.

Tony himself had a long list of character defects: PTSD, anxiety, paranoia, insomnia (the list goes on). Things had gone from bad to worse after Afghanistan though there were always problems - his father was a mean drunk and Tony was an easy target. 

 

Eventually, he would have to get back to his life. He would have to talk to the press about the 9 lives that had been taken because Tony wasn’tt fast enough. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t enough, period.

Eventually, he would have to face the families of the bereaved and feed them some bullshit lie that his PR team would cook up to make him seem like less of a villain. Because that was who he was. A villain. And no amount of sugarcoating would change that.

Eventually, he would have to face the other Avengers. He would have to see their glares or hear their sharp words or bear their violence. Or worse, he would have to be on the receiving end of their silence: no one talking to him no matter what he did to try and atone.

But that was it, wasn’t it? He simply cannot atone. No matter what he does or what he says. Because he will never be enough and his ledger will never be clean. He was the Merchant of Death after all. He had never really grown out of that name. And never will apparently.

Tony was just so tired.

So he looked out at the forest. Looked down at the drop. Settled in. Thought about what he would do. Or what he should do.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry! I love Tony but just had to vent my own feelings and did it through him! I swear I'll try and write something fluffy next time!  
> Also, if there are any tags I'm missing, please tell me so I can add them.


End file.
